swankivy:

the-stray-liger:

itsmydrink:

bemusedlybespectacled:

lesbuchanan:

hyenasnake:

whyisthisreality:

grays-galaxy:

business-pug:

siren-that-sings-owl-city:

wonderlandroundtwo:

amthsts:

patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

low-budget-mulan:

pkslider:

slavery:

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids

and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

(via mohradventurous)

Love Language #4: Acts of Service

blonde-costs:

You guys seem to be loving this mini series! Here’s #4! 

- acts of service = doing things your S/O would like you to do

- it requires thought, planning, time and effort

- love cannot be demanded. we can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything

- our actions are influenced by the model of our parents, our own personality and our perceptions of emotions (love, needs, desires)

- what we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage (!!)

- allowing oneself to be used or manipulated by another is not an act of love (!!!!!) 

- see the nag as a tag - your S/O is tagging (x activity) as really important to them when they nag

- little things really do mean a lot

The LAST love language is coming soon!! Which is your love language? 

(via princessbrookebear)

Love Language #4: Acts of Service

blonde-costs:

You guys seem to be loving this mini series! Here’s #4! 

- acts of service = doing things your S/O would like you to do

- it requires thought, planning, time and effort

- love cannot be demanded. we can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything

- our actions are influenced by the model of our parents, our own personality and our perceptions of emotions (love, needs, desires)

- what we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage (!!)

- allowing oneself to be used or manipulated by another is not an act of love (!!!!!) 

- see the nag as a tag - your S/O is tagging (x activity) as really important to them when they nag

- little things really do mean a lot

The LAST love language is coming soon!! Which is your love language? 

Love Languages

starsightastrology:

Aries: words of affirmation

Taurus: acts of service

Gemini: quality time

Cancer: physical touch

Leo: words of affirmation

Virgo: acts of service

Libra: gifts

Scorpio: quality time

Sagittarius: gifts

Capricorn: acts of service

Aquarius: physical touch

Pisces: gifts

wraithlings:

vampireapologist:

i love jane eyre but honestly imagine being friends with that bitch. like imagine trying to convince her to leave rochester and she’s like idk and you’re like he called u ugly???? he keeps his secret wife locked in the attic???? wake up???? and then you think she finally has it sorted out and she calls you a few months later like “his wife killed herself and burned down the house so it’s cool we’re getting married” like !!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO YOU GO TO THAT WEDDING!!!!!!

#that’s just a normal friendship with a straight girl honestly [x

i'm cRYING,,,

(via mohradventurous)

im reading this right now im so excited for this part

rosemarywaterwitch:

torque-witch:

Man: Why can’t you get a better paying job?

Me: It’s the vagina, mostly.

Man: But this isn’t the 1930’s anymore.

Me: Then explain how I was turned down a job washing and doing minor repairs on tractors and his exact words were “I don’t think a woman can do this job.” How about when I worked at a body shop making really good money but was sexually harassed by the man paying me. Or what about when I was flipping houses and stopped getting paid so I had to track down the man paying me at his house.

Man: Why are you so interested in jobs that men do? Do you want to be a man?

Me, breathing heavily: I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS WASN’T THE 1930’s ANYMORE DID I READ SOMETHING WRONG

PLEASE PREACH

(via themostbritishamerican)


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